i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
