I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
