A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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