We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
