I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Floor bacon is actually really good
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
