Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
