waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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