I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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