He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
