when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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