If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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