He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
