Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
