There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
