You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
