I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
