so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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