And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
this must be what syphilis tastes like
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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