I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
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