I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
