Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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