I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
