The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He called his prostate his "boner button".
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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