A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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