Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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