dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
