He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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