Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
