That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
