I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
