Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
