roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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