Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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