And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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