sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
