Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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