You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
