WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
