i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
