my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
