I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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