I just cut my nipple shaving
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
