Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
