Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Im part way to drunk.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
