ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
