i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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