I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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