you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
