you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
