Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she woke up with a sticky ear
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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